In this big bad world lives big bad wolves. Today's society puts a lot of pressure on each and every one of us. Since my brother died in a tragic car accident in 2008 I've battled depression and anxiety. In 2014, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I endured 6 months of strenuous chemotherapy that kicked my tail! Along came more anxiousness and more depressing thoughts.
Since then I am on medication that helps live a little easier with these big bad wolves.
I created this blog a while back to use as an outlet for me and my thoughts of weight loss. There is no weight lost here. NONE. I can try all the time but when the wolf growls at the door I'm curl up in the fetal position and cry or get angry and take my frustration out on innocent people like my husband. I always apologize but in my heart I feel that doesn't justify my actions.
It's hard to try to set your mind to losing weight and doing right by getting healthy when you fight constant battles with the "wolves" everyday. It gets exhausting! I know everyone says it's Mind over Matter but when you are dealing with these wolves of anxiety and depression sometimes you can't explain what's wrong or why you feel a certain way you just have to try to work through it or cry it out (in most of my situations).
Unless you go through the same things you'll never understand but know that you are very fortunate to not have either wolf growling at you because they both go hand in hand and they suck! Please think about those who do struggle with these issues and be sensitive to how they handle and process things. They may need a hug and be told everything will be okay. Or they might just want to be left alone to breathe. Either way remember to be considerate of those needs.
I said all of that to say when you fight those wolves off it's hard to also fight off FAT! Being fat is one thing but being addicted to food is another. I stress eat. It's horrible! I love food and the way it tastes. I don't care how good or bad it is for me. If I want it I'm going to eat it and you can't tell me I'm not. I'm a queen bee like that. So many times have I told myself I'm this week is the week! I'm gonna eat better and not eat what I want but what I need. Three days later I'm having a bad day and one stop at the convenience store for some chocolate and I'm good. No regrets until the scale breaks or I can't fit into any of my clothes.
Something's got to give. Not only am I making my self suffer but it effects those around me I love. My weight holds them back as well. Not being able to do things they like because I'm over weight. Cue the tears and bed time...
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